Looking at the psalm in whole, I see the following of God.
1) God hears everything, and will respond when we need / desire His response.
One thing that comes to mind is how some people can ask "Where is God", but live like they don't care to know the answer, or they don't expect God to respond. Such a perspective will keep us from seeing God and how He responds to our needs. While it's true that God is not limited by our perspectives, He does take into consideration what we want, and if we question him but aren't really seeking a response from Him, it is unlikely that we will see any.
2) God does not tolerate sin, but He also prefers transparency to pretense.
This is regards to v. 4 - "In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent."
The phrase "do not sin" is so hard to abide with. Ever noticed how sin always starts off with some emotion, one that is usually not pleasant to experience? Speaking of sin itself, I always think back to the 10 commandments, which comprehensively cover all the ways we might sin, and how avoiding sin sometimes feels like the Chinese idiom ει’εδΌ (literally means "ambushed on 10 sides").
So it is a great relief to know that with God, it is okay to feel all the emotions which eventually lead to sin and be honest about them.
I personally feel that God gave us such capacity for emotions not so that we might sin, but for higher / better purposes. Looking at David, as the supposed author of this psalm and many others, one such purpose could possibly be to help us discover more of God and see His promises fulfilled. Throughout the psalms, David's emotional expressiveness really brings out the reality of God's presence in his own life.
3) God gives abundantly.
It occurred to me that only after we have set down and detailed the full extent of our desires and expectations, can we know what abundance we receive from God. I had a good laugh reading the last two verses of The Message version (quoted below), which also serves as a reminder why do I have any faith in God at all about how much He loves me - because I have seen Him answer my requests, although not always in the way I expected - and that gives me reason to expect that He will continue to do so in my life.
"I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day
Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together."
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Sunday, 7 September 2008
Life lessons I learnt from leading worship (Part 1)
Having been in worship teams and leading worship for some years, I have often been asked questions ranging from heart issues to the practical day-to-day stuff. So it triggered me to jot down some important lessons I have learnt through leading worship, creative people and teams over these years. Would like to qualify that this list is not exhaustive, in no order of importance and from personal experience. These lessons are not just applicable to worship team dynamics but also in life. I hope it helps and encourages.
Investing in the next generation is critical
Somebody somewhere took the risk to believe in me and gave me my first opportunity to develop my gift and ability to lead worship. Without that, I will never be doing what I’m doing now. Over the years I have had leaders and mentors who dared to act on what they believed God had for my life, and provide me the guidance, inspiration and platforms to grow. Even though I made many mistakes along the way, they never gave up on me. This has made me deeply aware of the need to believe in others and provide them opportunities to spread their wings and fly. These wonderful leaders assured me that it was ok to fail and encouraged me to stand up and try again. They taught me what they knew but always allowed me space to be myself. Investing in a young person can be risky and can cause much inconvenience and sacrifice, but the rewards far outweigh the cost. Every time I find myself breaking through in the level of my influence, I never fail to remember and give thanks for all the people who have allowed me to stand on their shoulders so I may see further.
2 Tim 2:2
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.
Be yourself
When I first started off as a worship leader, I did it by copying what I saw someone else in church do. Gradually my role models began to change as I grew older and gained more experience. There was a stage in my life where “everything I learnt about worship leading, I learnt from Darlene Zschech”. And that drove most people around me crazy! I was searching for the true meaning of worship because I knew deep down inside me that leading worship was not just about singing songs and jumping around. It took me years to accept that I must be myself and many more years before I discovered who that really is. I have had strong influences from many people in my previous churches and they really helped to balance out some of my extremities. Coming before God just as I am was such a wonderful and freeing experience. God assured me that there will never be another me and He loves me the way I am and He wants me to be who He made me to be. Wow. From that point, my worship leading took on a new level of freedom and authority because I was no longer bound to the comparison and criticism of people. Knowing that I must lead out of who I am in God was one of the most powerful things I learnt.
Submission to leadership pleases God and releases blessing
Leaders are not perfect and I’m sure we all know at least one leader who makes us wonder how he or she could even become a leader. As a worship leader, we are under the covering and authority of either the worship pastor or senior pastor. During a service, they give spiritual oversight. I have often heard the funny observation that many times worship leaders tries to act like the senior pastor and the senior pastor tries to become the worship leader. What results is a tussle of roles while the congregation watches on. Submitting to the authority given over you is equal to submitting to God’s authority, for He is the one who establishes all authority. Even when you feel your leader is wrong, remember it’s probably a matter of preference and should not become a point of conflict or bitterness.
I have also had the privilege of working with musicians and singers who are such a pleasure and joy to work with because they have such a humble and servant heart. Unfortunately I must also admit that I have encountered many musicians and singers who struggled greatly with submitting to leadership, either to the worship leader or the senior pastor. Those were trying times because every rehearsal felt like we were in a war. It was emotionally and mentally draining for everyone, but eventually they either repented from their lack of submission, or simply left the team, and some, the church.
Sometimes we think we have valid reasons for not submitting to a leadership decision. Sometimes we even think we’re morally higher than a leader whom we might not have high regard for. However in these times I’m always reminded of the story of David and King Saul. King Saul was clearly not leading a Godly life and was after David’s life. However David never took on a self-righteous nor judgmental attitude, choosing at every moment to honour God’s decision to make Saul king. We all know the outcome of the story and can learn lots from David’s example.
Heb 13:17
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Team matters
This is probably one of the top lessons I have learnt from leading worship and being in worship teams. Some musicians are incredibly skilled and established in their own right, but it has always amazed me when they simply cannot work in a team. Putting many talented musicians together does not make a worship team! There is so much that goes into team dynamics and I believe that the most important is a heart of love and humility. When you deem others better than yourself, and also look out for one another, there will be a great team. I suggest to you that many people find it hard to work as a team because of their own insecurities and fear about themselves. I have certainly walked through this myself, feeling threatened when I felt someone was better than me. Pride rears its ugly head and destroys the unity of the team.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of doing life outside of playing together for church. A group of talented musicians can come together and play a wonderful set of songs, but walk away never knowing anything about each other’s lives, struggles, hopes and dreams. I don’t think that’s the heart of God for our teams and ministries. The best teams I have been with are those who played, prayed, cried and laboured together. Even years after we stop playing together, many of us remain firm friends and continue to encourage each other in the faith.
Teams must be built. It is the job of the leader to build teams, but it cannot be achieved without the effort of every member of the team. Having said that, I have seen many leaders discouraged and worn out because their people just would not do their part. I feel sad for them because it is truly an uphill task to lead unwilling people and I pray we never have to go through that ever again.
1 Cor 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
Handle conflict the Biblical way
I stand by the “Matthew 18 principle” when conflicts arise. Matthew18:15-17 says "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Every time I have done this, it has worked. Every time I attempted to bypass what Jesus taught in conflict resolution, I have not done so well. Conflicts will arise as we work together as a team. Unresolved conflict will spread like a cancer through the body and will allow the enemy to have a foothold. Keep short accounts and always be ready to forgive. There is such power and freedom when we choose forgiveness and honour.
Know your role
It is a common saying in church circles that if you are in the worship ministry, you don’t have to be skilled or really good in what you do as long as you are a worshipper. I can only agree with half of that statement. I absolutely agree that you must be a worshipper and that’s the primary call of every Christian. I also passionately agree that if you are to be playing in a worship team, you must have a heart of worship. However, we must know our roles. If we were to consider the role of the Levites in the Old Testament (many people like to equate our modern worship ministries to the ministry of the Levites. I choose to take a broader, non-literal interpretation of that), the Levites were not just skilled in ministering in the Temple with their instruments, they were also very much involved in incredibly elaborate duties within the Temple. Every Levite had a specific role and it went beyond their musical abilities.
I have learnt that as a worship leader, I am to be worshipping on or off the platform. But when I am leading worship, I am primarily a leader. Which means I must lead! It does not mean that I become a dictator and do whatever I like, but I must know my role as a worship leader and what I am supposed to do. I work in partnership with the Holy Spirit and function under His leading. Every musician and singer on the platform has that role as well. They are to be worshipping already, but when they take the platform, it is to come together to lead as a team. Some of the most powerful worship teams I have been part of, or have seen, are those where every person in the team knows their role as a servant-leader, and proceeds to function confidently in that role.
Lead worship in life
This is the most important lesson I have learnt from leading worship. In fact, I have since discovered that this is my personal mission in life. I am a worship leader in life. In all areas of my life, I seek to lead people to worship God at whatever point they are in their lives. In order to live this out, I must continuously worship and encounter Jesus in my life, and consciously tell others about Jesus and lead them to encounter and worship Him in their lives. Leading worship has taught me to be a worshipper and that every part of my life is to be offered to Jesus as worship. I started leading worship through songs and music but I now know that worship goes beyond the music and is about life. I was made to worship God, the Creator of heaven and earth who revealed His love for me through Jesus Christ His Son. To that, there is no other fitting response, but worship.
Investing in the next generation is critical
Somebody somewhere took the risk to believe in me and gave me my first opportunity to develop my gift and ability to lead worship. Without that, I will never be doing what I’m doing now. Over the years I have had leaders and mentors who dared to act on what they believed God had for my life, and provide me the guidance, inspiration and platforms to grow. Even though I made many mistakes along the way, they never gave up on me. This has made me deeply aware of the need to believe in others and provide them opportunities to spread their wings and fly. These wonderful leaders assured me that it was ok to fail and encouraged me to stand up and try again. They taught me what they knew but always allowed me space to be myself. Investing in a young person can be risky and can cause much inconvenience and sacrifice, but the rewards far outweigh the cost. Every time I find myself breaking through in the level of my influence, I never fail to remember and give thanks for all the people who have allowed me to stand on their shoulders so I may see further.
2 Tim 2:2
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.
Be yourself
When I first started off as a worship leader, I did it by copying what I saw someone else in church do. Gradually my role models began to change as I grew older and gained more experience. There was a stage in my life where “everything I learnt about worship leading, I learnt from Darlene Zschech”. And that drove most people around me crazy! I was searching for the true meaning of worship because I knew deep down inside me that leading worship was not just about singing songs and jumping around. It took me years to accept that I must be myself and many more years before I discovered who that really is. I have had strong influences from many people in my previous churches and they really helped to balance out some of my extremities. Coming before God just as I am was such a wonderful and freeing experience. God assured me that there will never be another me and He loves me the way I am and He wants me to be who He made me to be. Wow. From that point, my worship leading took on a new level of freedom and authority because I was no longer bound to the comparison and criticism of people. Knowing that I must lead out of who I am in God was one of the most powerful things I learnt.
Submission to leadership pleases God and releases blessing
Leaders are not perfect and I’m sure we all know at least one leader who makes us wonder how he or she could even become a leader. As a worship leader, we are under the covering and authority of either the worship pastor or senior pastor. During a service, they give spiritual oversight. I have often heard the funny observation that many times worship leaders tries to act like the senior pastor and the senior pastor tries to become the worship leader. What results is a tussle of roles while the congregation watches on. Submitting to the authority given over you is equal to submitting to God’s authority, for He is the one who establishes all authority. Even when you feel your leader is wrong, remember it’s probably a matter of preference and should not become a point of conflict or bitterness.
I have also had the privilege of working with musicians and singers who are such a pleasure and joy to work with because they have such a humble and servant heart. Unfortunately I must also admit that I have encountered many musicians and singers who struggled greatly with submitting to leadership, either to the worship leader or the senior pastor. Those were trying times because every rehearsal felt like we were in a war. It was emotionally and mentally draining for everyone, but eventually they either repented from their lack of submission, or simply left the team, and some, the church.
Sometimes we think we have valid reasons for not submitting to a leadership decision. Sometimes we even think we’re morally higher than a leader whom we might not have high regard for. However in these times I’m always reminded of the story of David and King Saul. King Saul was clearly not leading a Godly life and was after David’s life. However David never took on a self-righteous nor judgmental attitude, choosing at every moment to honour God’s decision to make Saul king. We all know the outcome of the story and can learn lots from David’s example.
Heb 13:17
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Team matters
This is probably one of the top lessons I have learnt from leading worship and being in worship teams. Some musicians are incredibly skilled and established in their own right, but it has always amazed me when they simply cannot work in a team. Putting many talented musicians together does not make a worship team! There is so much that goes into team dynamics and I believe that the most important is a heart of love and humility. When you deem others better than yourself, and also look out for one another, there will be a great team. I suggest to you that many people find it hard to work as a team because of their own insecurities and fear about themselves. I have certainly walked through this myself, feeling threatened when I felt someone was better than me. Pride rears its ugly head and destroys the unity of the team.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of doing life outside of playing together for church. A group of talented musicians can come together and play a wonderful set of songs, but walk away never knowing anything about each other’s lives, struggles, hopes and dreams. I don’t think that’s the heart of God for our teams and ministries. The best teams I have been with are those who played, prayed, cried and laboured together. Even years after we stop playing together, many of us remain firm friends and continue to encourage each other in the faith.
Teams must be built. It is the job of the leader to build teams, but it cannot be achieved without the effort of every member of the team. Having said that, I have seen many leaders discouraged and worn out because their people just would not do their part. I feel sad for them because it is truly an uphill task to lead unwilling people and I pray we never have to go through that ever again.
1 Cor 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
Handle conflict the Biblical way
I stand by the “Matthew 18 principle” when conflicts arise. Matthew18:15-17 says "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Every time I have done this, it has worked. Every time I attempted to bypass what Jesus taught in conflict resolution, I have not done so well. Conflicts will arise as we work together as a team. Unresolved conflict will spread like a cancer through the body and will allow the enemy to have a foothold. Keep short accounts and always be ready to forgive. There is such power and freedom when we choose forgiveness and honour.
Know your role
It is a common saying in church circles that if you are in the worship ministry, you don’t have to be skilled or really good in what you do as long as you are a worshipper. I can only agree with half of that statement. I absolutely agree that you must be a worshipper and that’s the primary call of every Christian. I also passionately agree that if you are to be playing in a worship team, you must have a heart of worship. However, we must know our roles. If we were to consider the role of the Levites in the Old Testament (many people like to equate our modern worship ministries to the ministry of the Levites. I choose to take a broader, non-literal interpretation of that), the Levites were not just skilled in ministering in the Temple with their instruments, they were also very much involved in incredibly elaborate duties within the Temple. Every Levite had a specific role and it went beyond their musical abilities.
I have learnt that as a worship leader, I am to be worshipping on or off the platform. But when I am leading worship, I am primarily a leader. Which means I must lead! It does not mean that I become a dictator and do whatever I like, but I must know my role as a worship leader and what I am supposed to do. I work in partnership with the Holy Spirit and function under His leading. Every musician and singer on the platform has that role as well. They are to be worshipping already, but when they take the platform, it is to come together to lead as a team. Some of the most powerful worship teams I have been part of, or have seen, are those where every person in the team knows their role as a servant-leader, and proceeds to function confidently in that role.
Lead worship in life
This is the most important lesson I have learnt from leading worship. In fact, I have since discovered that this is my personal mission in life. I am a worship leader in life. In all areas of my life, I seek to lead people to worship God at whatever point they are in their lives. In order to live this out, I must continuously worship and encounter Jesus in my life, and consciously tell others about Jesus and lead them to encounter and worship Him in their lives. Leading worship has taught me to be a worshipper and that every part of my life is to be offered to Jesus as worship. I started leading worship through songs and music but I now know that worship goes beyond the music and is about life. I was made to worship God, the Creator of heaven and earth who revealed His love for me through Jesus Christ His Son. To that, there is no other fitting response, but worship.
Sunday, 24 August 2008
Razi Grew!
After a tiring rehearsal with Vertical Rush, we were ready to pack up and head off for dinner when Jean - who was helping out on vocals with us - suddenly said we should pray for Razi - who is a longtime friend of ours and who also runs the practice studios that we rehearse at.
Now I have to tell you what mental state i was in. I was pretty grouchy by the time practice was over. I had to wake up a bit early in the morning (anytime before lunchtime on Sunday is early for me), and practice was pretty rough. We only managed to run through a third of the songs we wanted to do and we wasted a lot of time. Not only that, for some reason my guitar amp wouldn't work, and I had to drag another amp in from the other studio. To make matter worse, the vocals PA kept feeding back, my guitar sounded really awful and I ended up getting more and more frustrated through practice. By the time we ended practice, i was literally ready to bite someone's head off!
in any case, i gathered up what little was left of my good humour and head out with jean and esmond, not quite knowing what to expect, or what i was going to get myself into. we bundle razi out of the noisy studio into the *scape corridor. we make esmond and razi stand side by side and mark their arms with a sharpie.
after that, jean, esmond and myself laid hands on razi's legs and start to pray some really simple prayers. all this while my right brain was going like, oh man what if this doesn't work?!? sure very malu - not just for us but for Jesus as well. then my left brain was like - oh, even if there's a difference it'll probably be parallax error or something that could be rationalised away.
such a man of faith i am.
anyway even as we are praying, i could feel razi's leg growing. i laid my hand on his kneecap and notice its positioned right over the edge of the couch he was sitting on. when we finished praying for him, it looked like his knee was clear of the edge of the couch. i'm still thinking it might be parallax error at this point.
when we get esmond and razi to stand side by side, the results are just absolutely mind-boggling.
no way that could be parallax error. thank you Jesus. thank you Jesus. You've just totally taken me to school again about what living in faith really means.
back to the story: i basically went ballistic at that point. i totally had no clue that the results would be so clear, so obvious. in hindsight, its easy to say "duh, of course it would be this obvious. i mean, its GOD we're talking about right?" but at the time i was just going "WHOA!" at the top of my voice. i was completely stunned!
i think razi is still in a state of shock at how much he's grown! we said good bye and we hugged - as we did that i prayed for him again, and i could just feel him shaking and i could feel his heart racing.
this totally made my day. and i hope it did for razi too.
Now I have to tell you what mental state i was in. I was pretty grouchy by the time practice was over. I had to wake up a bit early in the morning (anytime before lunchtime on Sunday is early for me), and practice was pretty rough. We only managed to run through a third of the songs we wanted to do and we wasted a lot of time. Not only that, for some reason my guitar amp wouldn't work, and I had to drag another amp in from the other studio. To make matter worse, the vocals PA kept feeding back, my guitar sounded really awful and I ended up getting more and more frustrated through practice. By the time we ended practice, i was literally ready to bite someone's head off!
in any case, i gathered up what little was left of my good humour and head out with jean and esmond, not quite knowing what to expect, or what i was going to get myself into. we bundle razi out of the noisy studio into the *scape corridor. we make esmond and razi stand side by side and mark their arms with a sharpie.
after that, jean, esmond and myself laid hands on razi's legs and start to pray some really simple prayers. all this while my right brain was going like, oh man what if this doesn't work?!? sure very malu - not just for us but for Jesus as well. then my left brain was like - oh, even if there's a difference it'll probably be parallax error or something that could be rationalised away.
such a man of faith i am.
anyway even as we are praying, i could feel razi's leg growing. i laid my hand on his kneecap and notice its positioned right over the edge of the couch he was sitting on. when we finished praying for him, it looked like his knee was clear of the edge of the couch. i'm still thinking it might be parallax error at this point.
when we get esmond and razi to stand side by side, the results are just absolutely mind-boggling.
no way that could be parallax error. thank you Jesus. thank you Jesus. You've just totally taken me to school again about what living in faith really means.
back to the story: i basically went ballistic at that point. i totally had no clue that the results would be so clear, so obvious. in hindsight, its easy to say "duh, of course it would be this obvious. i mean, its GOD we're talking about right?" but at the time i was just going "WHOA!" at the top of my voice. i was completely stunned!
i think razi is still in a state of shock at how much he's grown! we said good bye and we hugged - as we did that i prayed for him again, and i could just feel him shaking and i could feel his heart racing.
this totally made my day. and i hope it did for razi too.
Monday, 11 August 2008
Reflections on Psalms 4
Thoughts:
1) v1 : Even King David laments and complains to God, Reminds me that its fine to be real to God.
2) v5: Study Bible says that to God, our attitude of submission and obedience is more important than the actual sacrifice. Reminds me that there is more to "doing and serving".
3) v6 - 7: These verses remind me that trusting in the Lord is the key to joy. Many times, I worry and think too much of things around, career, future, house, etc. Trusting in the Lord yields a joy that is "greater" than "that of the world". The former is dependent on God, who is never changing and perfect, whilst the latter is dependent on the "grain and new wine" which is temporal. v7 - God alone makes us dwell in safety, this reminds me of God's sovereignty and that He is truly in control.
Olie
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Reflections on Psalms 4
This psalm is often considered as a prayer for relief after a calamity. To me, though I'm not going through a period of distress or calamity, it is an assurance to know that God will always hear me when I call out to him (v3). Sometimes, I run out of patience when I ask God for something, some truth, some justice to be instilled, but yet I 'see' (physically) nothing happening. My tendency is to then take charge and work it out on my own. I find that my lack of patience can be a potential hindrance from seeing God's answers revealed in my life. And this lack of trust and tendency to be self-sufficient is something I need to work on.
(v4)'In your anger do not sin, when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.'
It is always a timely reminder or even warning to me regarding what I should do or not do when in anger; not anger in explosive spurts but mostly brewing displeasure/s that can be equally lethal. I am an escapist by nature and often shy away from confrontations of all sorts, and as a result, I do realise that I tend not to want to search my heart to discover my naked feelings as they make me real uncomfortable and uneasy. This verse reminds me to face up to the 'search' process that will allow me to be transparent with God, albeit an uneasy task. But I believe this step is crucial so that I don't harbour bitter sentiments that may brew and even fester into something worse. I'm reminded of the need to make right with God in terms of my every emotion and even the people that I may have been offended or whom I have offended.
Sharon
Saturday, 9 August 2008
Psalm 4 - Marcus
In your anger do not sin
Its so easy to let emotions take over, to let emotions be an excuse for acting inappropriately. Its so easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, to do something that doesn't please God, and try to brush it away or justify it by saying that it was "situational", that this case was "different". But the fact is, God's Word is not "situational", His Truth doesn't differ in every situation. It is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow, and it is uncompromising, unchanging.
There is no excuse for giving in to sin, and we should always be mindful not to let our lips or our actions let loose that which does not glorify the Lord, no matter how hard the circumstances are, no matter how irritating some people may be, or how stupid the situation may seem. God's Word still holds true for every person and circumstance. And as His Children we are called to do likewise - to be as God is, full of grace and love. However small or however challenging, we are to be God's people of grace.
You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound
Its also very easy to get caught up in the things of the world. The temporary, transient pleasures. To let these things distract ourselves from what is most important, from the one thing that truly gives the greatest joy. The things of the world give happiness - but that in itself is transient, fleeting, momentary - the things of God give joy, a deep lasting and unshakeable sense that all is as it should be, such that even in the midst of the storm we can celebrate and praise God. That's real joy.
We are challenged to think about why we spend money on that which is not bread, and labour on that which does not satisfy (Isaiah 55:2). Many a time in my life, I've spent nights partying and doing things that I shouldn't have, or which ultimately didn't satisfy. And I'd return home to the four walls in my room, and sink to the floor in despair feeling empty and joyless. God changed all that. He truly satisfies. And I'm still discovering new depths of how He can satisfy, and how His joy has transformed me.
God truly satisfies. And whilst He does allow us to find happiness in things, in people, in activities, He also wants us to know and embrace His joy. May we learn how to lean on Him for strength, courage, and joy in our lives, and not look to people, things or circumstances.
Its so easy to let emotions take over, to let emotions be an excuse for acting inappropriately. Its so easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, to do something that doesn't please God, and try to brush it away or justify it by saying that it was "situational", that this case was "different". But the fact is, God's Word is not "situational", His Truth doesn't differ in every situation. It is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow, and it is uncompromising, unchanging.
There is no excuse for giving in to sin, and we should always be mindful not to let our lips or our actions let loose that which does not glorify the Lord, no matter how hard the circumstances are, no matter how irritating some people may be, or how stupid the situation may seem. God's Word still holds true for every person and circumstance. And as His Children we are called to do likewise - to be as God is, full of grace and love. However small or however challenging, we are to be God's people of grace.
You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound
Its also very easy to get caught up in the things of the world. The temporary, transient pleasures. To let these things distract ourselves from what is most important, from the one thing that truly gives the greatest joy. The things of the world give happiness - but that in itself is transient, fleeting, momentary - the things of God give joy, a deep lasting and unshakeable sense that all is as it should be, such that even in the midst of the storm we can celebrate and praise God. That's real joy.
We are challenged to think about why we spend money on that which is not bread, and labour on that which does not satisfy (Isaiah 55:2). Many a time in my life, I've spent nights partying and doing things that I shouldn't have, or which ultimately didn't satisfy. And I'd return home to the four walls in my room, and sink to the floor in despair feeling empty and joyless. God changed all that. He truly satisfies. And I'm still discovering new depths of how He can satisfy, and how His joy has transformed me.
God truly satisfies. And whilst He does allow us to find happiness in things, in people, in activities, He also wants us to know and embrace His joy. May we learn how to lean on Him for strength, courage, and joy in our lives, and not look to people, things or circumstances.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Reflection on Psalm 3
Reflection on Psalm 3 (I know im so so late)...
I think this Psalm really speaks of God's grace and mercy. Even during times of trouble, God is never far from us.
1) He is our shield- protection and favour
2) He answers us- He listens and continue to converse with us
3) The Lord sustains us- He will give us the strength we need
4) From the Lord comes delieverance - He wont leave us in the lurch and He will deliver us
Application:
I know and believe that no matter how tough a situation may be, God is never far. He will still be there to listen and provide us with His strength. His grace and mercy will always be evident and ultimately, He will deliver us.
Brings me back the my verse of the year:
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1: 2-4
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Leaning on the Lord,
Evie
I think this Psalm really speaks of God's grace and mercy. Even during times of trouble, God is never far from us.
1) He is our shield- protection and favour
2) He answers us- He listens and continue to converse with us
3) The Lord sustains us- He will give us the strength we need
4) From the Lord comes delieverance - He wont leave us in the lurch and He will deliver us
Application:
I know and believe that no matter how tough a situation may be, God is never far. He will still be there to listen and provide us with His strength. His grace and mercy will always be evident and ultimately, He will deliver us.
Brings me back the my verse of the year:
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1: 2-4
---
Leaning on the Lord,
Evie
Reflections on Psalm 3
Would like to apologize for not posting earlier, many things have been going on, and I also wanted to read up on the background of Psalm 3 before posting my reflections. Unfortunately, that took a lot of time to think through.
Personally, reading this psalm tells me a lot more about the psalmist's attitude than about God himself. It's a little frustrating when one is looking to learn about God without having to go through the psalmist and the emotion he pours into the psalm, and for awhile I felt like I identified more with people who have no understanding about why we are willing to have faith in Him than with being someone who truly knows God.
I suppose it's something we all have to go through periodically, so that when we finally recognize God's participation in our lives, it becomes truth and real knowledge, not merely blind faith. Anyway, thankfully, the psalm had a preceding description - "A psalm of David. When he fled from his son Absalom." So I turned to 2 Samuel 15-18 to read the story behind the psalm.
To briefly summarize, Absalom was David's son, he took over David's throne by conspiracy, and later set out to kill David. Thus, David had to flee for his life, and along the way, he discovered many people who turned against him. Some of his trusted advisors, his men, and his friends were among these people.
Given his situation, David had every reason to despair and question God, yet he still chose to put his faith in God and expressed it in a psalm. And what really stands out in 2 Samuel 15-18 is that David received everything that he had declared in faith within Psalm 3. I've decided to leave further details on above to the end of this entry, otherwise this will eb very long.
My personal takeaway from this is that God rewards us for both our faith in Him and the subsequent actions undertaken out of that faith. Such actions don't have to be very significant or visible, it could be as simple as choosing to praise Him despite not feeling like we want to. The most important thing to know is that living out our faith is THE condition we need to satisfy in order claim His blessings.
-
List of ways in which God answered David's declarations within the psalm in 2 Samuel 15-18. Verses listed are from the Psalm.
v3. "you bestow glory on me and lift up my head."
- God restored his status as king, both officially and in the hearts of his people.
v4. "To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill."
- God sent many others who were willing to follow him and flee with him or take his instructions to do what they could while Absalom was in power. When we think about David's position, it's actually a very lonely one - can anyone else understand what it means to receive such betrayal from a son, especially for a king? Yet God never left Him alone, and He showed it by allowing David to meet people who supported Him.
v5. "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me."
- I'm not sure if we can fully understand David's plight, imagine running long distance with great fear for your life and the others with you. But God sustained David so that he covered a great distance as he fled.
v6. "I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side."
- One interesting thing I noticed in 2 Samuel 15-18 is that David still undertook actions against Absalom's plans. For instance, he had people within the palace tell him of Absalom's plans, and frustrate Absalom's advisors' advice, even though he had no guarantee that God would indeed return him to the throne. Indeed, though David feared the results of Absalom taking the throne, he still had the courage to plan against Absalom and eventually planned a battle Absalom's men.
Personally, reading this psalm tells me a lot more about the psalmist's attitude than about God himself. It's a little frustrating when one is looking to learn about God without having to go through the psalmist and the emotion he pours into the psalm, and for awhile I felt like I identified more with people who have no understanding about why we are willing to have faith in Him than with being someone who truly knows God.
I suppose it's something we all have to go through periodically, so that when we finally recognize God's participation in our lives, it becomes truth and real knowledge, not merely blind faith. Anyway, thankfully, the psalm had a preceding description - "A psalm of David. When he fled from his son Absalom." So I turned to 2 Samuel 15-18 to read the story behind the psalm.
To briefly summarize, Absalom was David's son, he took over David's throne by conspiracy, and later set out to kill David. Thus, David had to flee for his life, and along the way, he discovered many people who turned against him. Some of his trusted advisors, his men, and his friends were among these people.
Given his situation, David had every reason to despair and question God, yet he still chose to put his faith in God and expressed it in a psalm. And what really stands out in 2 Samuel 15-18 is that David received everything that he had declared in faith within Psalm 3. I've decided to leave further details on above to the end of this entry, otherwise this will eb very long.
My personal takeaway from this is that God rewards us for both our faith in Him and the subsequent actions undertaken out of that faith. Such actions don't have to be very significant or visible, it could be as simple as choosing to praise Him despite not feeling like we want to. The most important thing to know is that living out our faith is THE condition we need to satisfy in order claim His blessings.
-
List of ways in which God answered David's declarations within the psalm in 2 Samuel 15-18. Verses listed are from the Psalm.
v3. "you bestow glory on me and lift up my head."
- God restored his status as king, both officially and in the hearts of his people.
v4. "To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill."
- God sent many others who were willing to follow him and flee with him or take his instructions to do what they could while Absalom was in power. When we think about David's position, it's actually a very lonely one - can anyone else understand what it means to receive such betrayal from a son, especially for a king? Yet God never left Him alone, and He showed it by allowing David to meet people who supported Him.
v5. "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me."
- I'm not sure if we can fully understand David's plight, imagine running long distance with great fear for your life and the others with you. But God sustained David so that he covered a great distance as he fled.
v6. "I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side."
- One interesting thing I noticed in 2 Samuel 15-18 is that David still undertook actions against Absalom's plans. For instance, he had people within the palace tell him of Absalom's plans, and frustrate Absalom's advisors' advice, even though he had no guarantee that God would indeed return him to the throne. Indeed, though David feared the results of Absalom taking the throne, he still had the courage to plan against Absalom and eventually planned a battle Absalom's men.
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Reflections on Psalm 2
I wanted to save a draft of this entry and continue it later, but apparently it wasn't saved, so I've to rewrite it.
The first thing I see is that God is powerful and mighty, Lord over all, completely impervious to the ways of men yet not unaware of them (verses 1-6). Yet He is also exceedingly loving and generous (verses 7-9). I am amused at the contrasts the psalmist presents - the God who rebukes and scoffs at people in power who plot against Him and rebel against His decrees, is the same God who says He would give us the nations if we asked Him.
When you think about these people in power as described in the psalm - all those kings and rulers, right? Aren't they the same people who would want nations to conquer and rule?
Simply put, everything in this world rightfully belongs to God. He created it and rules over everything in it, and the reason why man gets to decide anything at all is because He allows it. If God is happy to grant us the nations when we ask of Him, it means we are allowed to desire the nations! He is not pleased however, when we resort to scheming and conspiracies to fulfil our desires like the kings and rulers described earlier, because then we completely disregard who He is, and His relation to us / our relation to Him.
My interpretation of verses 10-12 for life application is never lose sight of the greatness of God.
There are a few ways to look at it. One is that nothing is impossible with God. We may present God with our bold, even crazy "are-you-insane??" requests, and have faith that He will grant us all that we ask for. After all, they're probably nothing compared to the nations, right?
Another perspective is one of reverence and awe of God. Even respect, yes that might be appropriate too. He is above us in every way, even our lives and our deaths are set by Him, our own character and personality were all His ideas. So really, who are we to turn against Him or away from Him? Even if He has given us the free will to do so, should we still do it?
Lastly, it is also a personal reminder for myself, that immense joy and fulfilment may be found in submitting to His ways and His desires. I've found that out at least once. After all, He's got me all figured out (so to speak), and He loves me, so things do work out, sometimes better than expected. Along the way, I may have gone through many things I would've rather not experienced in doing so, and it's probably my own subjective and short-sighted opinion as to whether or not they were necessary. But I definitely wouldn't want to change anything God's already done in me, and I'm pretty sure I can continue saying that. Even if I don't feel like it at times.
The first thing I see is that God is powerful and mighty, Lord over all, completely impervious to the ways of men yet not unaware of them (verses 1-6). Yet He is also exceedingly loving and generous (verses 7-9). I am amused at the contrasts the psalmist presents - the God who rebukes and scoffs at people in power who plot against Him and rebel against His decrees, is the same God who says He would give us the nations if we asked Him.
When you think about these people in power as described in the psalm - all those kings and rulers, right? Aren't they the same people who would want nations to conquer and rule?
Simply put, everything in this world rightfully belongs to God. He created it and rules over everything in it, and the reason why man gets to decide anything at all is because He allows it. If God is happy to grant us the nations when we ask of Him, it means we are allowed to desire the nations! He is not pleased however, when we resort to scheming and conspiracies to fulfil our desires like the kings and rulers described earlier, because then we completely disregard who He is, and His relation to us / our relation to Him.
My interpretation of verses 10-12 for life application is never lose sight of the greatness of God.
There are a few ways to look at it. One is that nothing is impossible with God. We may present God with our bold, even crazy "are-you-insane??" requests, and have faith that He will grant us all that we ask for. After all, they're probably nothing compared to the nations, right?
Another perspective is one of reverence and awe of God. Even respect, yes that might be appropriate too. He is above us in every way, even our lives and our deaths are set by Him, our own character and personality were all His ideas. So really, who are we to turn against Him or away from Him? Even if He has given us the free will to do so, should we still do it?
Lastly, it is also a personal reminder for myself, that immense joy and fulfilment may be found in submitting to His ways and His desires. I've found that out at least once. After all, He's got me all figured out (so to speak), and He loves me, so things do work out, sometimes better than expected. Along the way, I may have gone through many things I would've rather not experienced in doing so, and it's probably my own subjective and short-sighted opinion as to whether or not they were necessary. But I definitely wouldn't want to change anything God's already done in me, and I'm pretty sure I can continue saying that. Even if I don't feel like it at times.
Monday, 14 July 2008
Psalm 2
The Messiah’s Triumph and Kingdom
In this psalm, it shows that no matter how chaotic the world can be with wars, destruction, hypocrisy, deception and all the negative likes of it, (Psalm 2: 2 – 3) God is still in control of the situation. (Psalm 2: 4 -6) Even though we as His children may be in the midst of all these chaos, God still watches over us, protecting us from harm.
As His children, we have the privilege of being able to come to Him without fear as He always loves us. Anything that we ask of Him, it will be given to us.
Character of God: He is always in control no matter the circumstance, regardless of the situation
Application:
How does this aspect of God’s character affect me in my life?
Knowing that God is in control of my life helps me to be able to trust him in all my circumstance. When all hope seems to be gone, at least I know that I can trust and count on God to help and see me through in every single aspect of my life such as relationship with my parents, friends, colleagues, in my studies, and many more. He will always be there to watch over me.
Posted By: Nat
In this psalm, it shows that no matter how chaotic the world can be with wars, destruction, hypocrisy, deception and all the negative likes of it, (Psalm 2: 2 – 3) God is still in control of the situation. (Psalm 2: 4 -6) Even though we as His children may be in the midst of all these chaos, God still watches over us, protecting us from harm.
As His children, we have the privilege of being able to come to Him without fear as He always loves us. Anything that we ask of Him, it will be given to us.
Character of God: He is always in control no matter the circumstance, regardless of the situation
Application:
How does this aspect of God’s character affect me in my life?
Knowing that God is in control of my life helps me to be able to trust him in all my circumstance. When all hope seems to be gone, at least I know that I can trust and count on God to help and see me through in every single aspect of my life such as relationship with my parents, friends, colleagues, in my studies, and many more. He will always be there to watch over me.
Posted By: Nat
Saturday, 12 July 2008
Psalm 3 - Marcus
But you are a shield around me, O Lord
A traditional shield can only cover one side of the person, and only to a limited extent. But the Word says that God is a shield around me - that means that His protection is complete, and encircles me, hedges me in. what a beautiful promise, that God offers complete and holistic protection. He looks out for my complete being. He sees things that I don't see, He perceives things that I can't perceive. Even whilst David, the psalmist, was facing a popular uprising against him led by his own son, he could still walk without fear because he knew that the Lord protected him completely. Therefore I too can live without fear or worry that the challenges i face in life will overwhelm me - I can trust in the Lord to protect me and guard me in all circumstances.
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
Even as David was being shamed and ridiculed by his opponents, he knew that the Lord's glory rested on him, and that he did not have to live in shame for the things he has done, or in shame for the things that people say he has done. His glory and pride is in the Lord, who washes him clean and is his righteousness and strength. Likewise, I need not live in fear of what falsehoods others may say about me, or may think about me, neither do I have to live in shame from my mistakes. I can live completely free because Jesus has set me free to lift my head and look upon the Lord's face in awe and wonder. I can live completely free because Jesus is my righteousness - Jesus has won my righteousness on the cross. I can worship and sing and dance in the presence of the Lord because He has set me free!
To the Lord i cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill
God is a God who answers prayer - He does not remain silent. And even if i perceive Him to be silent, it is because He has already spoken and I did not listen. I know that when I take my prayers, my fear, my joy, my anxieties, my praise to God, He responds. Likewise, when we worship Him, He responds as well!
I lie down and sleep; i wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
There are so many mornings that I don't feel like waking up - either because I'm not looking forward to work, or because I'm just so tired, drained and exhausted that I just don't have the strength to get out of bed. But somehow I find the strength to get up and go out - and that is completely because the Lord sustains me. Just as He sustained David during his time of trial, He sustained me during mine - and He continues to sustain me every morning when I wake. He is my strength and my shield, He gives me hope for a better today and a brighter tomorrow. And because He has set me free, He has loved me so, I am able to wake again!
A traditional shield can only cover one side of the person, and only to a limited extent. But the Word says that God is a shield around me - that means that His protection is complete, and encircles me, hedges me in. what a beautiful promise, that God offers complete and holistic protection. He looks out for my complete being. He sees things that I don't see, He perceives things that I can't perceive. Even whilst David, the psalmist, was facing a popular uprising against him led by his own son, he could still walk without fear because he knew that the Lord protected him completely. Therefore I too can live without fear or worry that the challenges i face in life will overwhelm me - I can trust in the Lord to protect me and guard me in all circumstances.
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.
Even as David was being shamed and ridiculed by his opponents, he knew that the Lord's glory rested on him, and that he did not have to live in shame for the things he has done, or in shame for the things that people say he has done. His glory and pride is in the Lord, who washes him clean and is his righteousness and strength. Likewise, I need not live in fear of what falsehoods others may say about me, or may think about me, neither do I have to live in shame from my mistakes. I can live completely free because Jesus has set me free to lift my head and look upon the Lord's face in awe and wonder. I can live completely free because Jesus is my righteousness - Jesus has won my righteousness on the cross. I can worship and sing and dance in the presence of the Lord because He has set me free!
To the Lord i cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill
God is a God who answers prayer - He does not remain silent. And even if i perceive Him to be silent, it is because He has already spoken and I did not listen. I know that when I take my prayers, my fear, my joy, my anxieties, my praise to God, He responds. Likewise, when we worship Him, He responds as well!
I lie down and sleep; i wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
There are so many mornings that I don't feel like waking up - either because I'm not looking forward to work, or because I'm just so tired, drained and exhausted that I just don't have the strength to get out of bed. But somehow I find the strength to get up and go out - and that is completely because the Lord sustains me. Just as He sustained David during his time of trial, He sustained me during mine - and He continues to sustain me every morning when I wake. He is my strength and my shield, He gives me hope for a better today and a brighter tomorrow. And because He has set me free, He has loved me so, I am able to wake again!
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
God gives and takes away.....
This 1 whole week - I was reminded by God abt this..... that He gives and takes away. Last Friday, at SMU cell, when Bob shared and this statement came by, it was as though the entire earth paused and all I felt was..... God's assurance that when He give, He really gives..... but when He takes it away, will I still praise Him as usual?
I came to the point that I had to surrender my rights. Yes, my entire rights to my everything. On Saturday, when Chris shared from Job..... God spoke thru my heart again. This time, I simply fell to my knees knowing that I just needed God to take away all my rights. Still, it's tough but yes, it's easier when we are a step nearer to the end of the race.
What comforts me most is that He gives the best (to His knowledge of coz) and takes what is not good for us (which we sometimes think is good)..... I just want to thank God for the wonderful practice we had, the wonderful job He has provided, the wonderful life He created me to be.
Be Blessed!
I came to the point that I had to surrender my rights. Yes, my entire rights to my everything. On Saturday, when Chris shared from Job..... God spoke thru my heart again. This time, I simply fell to my knees knowing that I just needed God to take away all my rights. Still, it's tough but yes, it's easier when we are a step nearer to the end of the race.
What comforts me most is that He gives the best (to His knowledge of coz) and takes what is not good for us (which we sometimes think is good)..... I just want to thank God for the wonderful practice we had, the wonderful job He has provided, the wonderful life He created me to be.
Be Blessed!
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Psalm 2 - Marcus
Hey folks, I know this one is a bit overdue. Was somewhat overtaken by events over the weekend so couldn't get this up till now. Anyway, my brief thoughts on Psalm 2:
God is a God of Power and Might. He has the power to give and the power to take. He also loves his children - so much so that He has made the world their inheritance if they so choose it. He has a plan for the world, and He has already installed the King of Kings in the place of power and sovereignty over all the earth.
I am reminded not to take Him for granted - to be like the rulers of the earth who serve Him with fear and rejoice with trembling. What an image! But I am reminded that I should not take His Character for granted, that He is everything the Bible says He is. And if He so deigns to give me the world as my inheritance, I should live a life that expresses a worthy response to God's first act of love, salvation and blessing.
God is a God of Power and Might. He has the power to give and the power to take. He also loves his children - so much so that He has made the world their inheritance if they so choose it. He has a plan for the world, and He has already installed the King of Kings in the place of power and sovereignty over all the earth.
I am reminded not to take Him for granted - to be like the rulers of the earth who serve Him with fear and rejoice with trembling. What an image! But I am reminded that I should not take His Character for granted, that He is everything the Bible says He is. And if He so deigns to give me the world as my inheritance, I should live a life that expresses a worthy response to God's first act of love, salvation and blessing.
Friday, 4 July 2008
Psalm 2 reflection - Josh
This is an awesome psalm of promise as well as warning.
For me, God shows up as first being a God of promises. And BIG promises! He's gonna give us the nations! And nothing! Not even the kings of the earth, are going to stand in His way. He has promised us good things, and will also at the same time protect us.
However, I was reminded of the fact that we have to be careful that we do not turn into those kings. Verses 10 & 11 were stark reminders for me, that even as we have been given much, much is expected of us. Being given the title of Pastor, Worship Leader or Musician does not automatically equate to me doing the job well. I have to continue to work at it "with fear and trembling", always remembering why I do what I do and who I am doing it for. And we have to WANT it! Verse 8 says that we must "ask of Him".
Do we desire it? Do I desire it? It comes with consequences too.
*NOTE* Chris, this is where i find one way to help you with your struggle with verse 11. The trembling refers to reverence and awe. The Message translates it as "trembling awe". The NASB cross references it with "reverence". So perhaps the idea is that while we rejoice in Him, the manner and posture that we are to do it in is still one of reverence and awe. I think it is an important point, especially in our season in the Youth Ministry, where rejoicing can sometimes be done in a flippant manner?
For me, God shows up as first being a God of promises. And BIG promises! He's gonna give us the nations! And nothing! Not even the kings of the earth, are going to stand in His way. He has promised us good things, and will also at the same time protect us.
However, I was reminded of the fact that we have to be careful that we do not turn into those kings. Verses 10 & 11 were stark reminders for me, that even as we have been given much, much is expected of us. Being given the title of Pastor, Worship Leader or Musician does not automatically equate to me doing the job well. I have to continue to work at it "with fear and trembling", always remembering why I do what I do and who I am doing it for. And we have to WANT it! Verse 8 says that we must "ask of Him".
Do we desire it? Do I desire it? It comes with consequences too.
*NOTE* Chris, this is where i find one way to help you with your struggle with verse 11. The trembling refers to reverence and awe. The Message translates it as "trembling awe". The NASB cross references it with "reverence". So perhaps the idea is that while we rejoice in Him, the manner and posture that we are to do it in is still one of reverence and awe. I think it is an important point, especially in our season in the Youth Ministry, where rejoicing can sometimes be done in a flippant manner?
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Psalm 2
One character of God that really jumps up at me in the first part of this Psalm would be Justice.
As revealed in Psalm 1, God is fair in His judgement.
"For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous but the way of the wicked will perish." (Psalm 1: 6)
This is most prevalent in verse 4 of Psalm 2, where He expresses His wrath on those who go against Him.
Yet He extends his love, grace and blessing in verses 7-9.
In verse 8, it says, "Ask of me, and i will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession."
Verses 8 to 12 really showed me specifically how this is relevant and applicable to my life.
This is further explained in verses 11 & 12, "Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling (not sure also, but Kenny's explanation does make sense :) any one with a different explanation?). Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in Him."
I think to 'ask of Him' is not to just call his name when we need His help, or just ask of Him to come into our hearts to be born again (not that we shouldnt). But rather, as highlighted above, to serve Him with reverent fear, to allow Him to be Lord of our lives and to take refuge in Him. For Him to be first in our lives. Having that intimate relationship with Him. To make that choice.
Additionally, in verse 12 it says, "... for his wrath can flare up in a moment..."
I don't think the purpose of this line in verse 12 is to SCARE us, but i think its to encourage us to have that sense of urgency- to ask of Him.
As revealed in Psalm 1, God is fair in His judgement.
"For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous but the way of the wicked will perish." (Psalm 1: 6)
This is most prevalent in verse 4 of Psalm 2, where He expresses His wrath on those who go against Him.
Yet He extends his love, grace and blessing in verses 7-9.
In verse 8, it says, "Ask of me, and i will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession."
Verses 8 to 12 really showed me specifically how this is relevant and applicable to my life.
This is further explained in verses 11 & 12, "Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling (not sure also, but Kenny's explanation does make sense :) any one with a different explanation?). Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in Him."
I think to 'ask of Him' is not to just call his name when we need His help, or just ask of Him to come into our hearts to be born again (not that we shouldnt). But rather, as highlighted above, to serve Him with reverent fear, to allow Him to be Lord of our lives and to take refuge in Him. For Him to be first in our lives. Having that intimate relationship with Him. To make that choice.
Additionally, in verse 12 it says, "... for his wrath can flare up in a moment..."
I don't think the purpose of this line in verse 12 is to SCARE us, but i think its to encourage us to have that sense of urgency- to ask of Him.
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Reflections on Psalm 2
Verse 1: Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain?
Verse 2: The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the LORD and against his Anointed One.
From these 2 verses, it showed me that the very people that God had come to save are the ones that turned against Him. However, from verse 1, it has shown me that all the kings and the nations and its people have plotted in vain against Our Sovereign King. The two words "in vain" in verse 1 sums it all. The world we live in is the place where Satan operates. Satan does not operate in Heaven because he does not belong there. However, he works on this world. The kings of the earth gathered against the Lord and His Anointed One, who is Jesus Christ.
However, the Sovereignty and great power of our Lord is revealed to me from verse 4 and 5. He is a Just God. His character incorporates the element of Just and Wrath. God is love. That is truth. He is merciful and full of grace, yet we must also remember that He is a God of justice as well.
Verse 4: The One enthroned in heaven laughs, the Lord scoffs at them.
Verse 5: Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath saying . . .
Our God is a Just God.
Yet in His wrath against those who oppose Him, God's love and mercy is also showed in this Psalm.
Verse 7: He said to me, "You are my Son, today I have become your Father.
Verse 8: Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.
Verse 9: You will rule them with an iron scepter
From verse 7 to 9, it showed what He has install for us. What He wants to give us. He will make the nations our inheritance. That to me is a GREAT prize and it just shows the amount of love He has for me. All i need to do is ask Him. I will get the nations as my inheritance and the ends of the earth my possession. He simple said, "Ask of me". WOW. He is so full of grace and SO SO generous.
Verse 11: Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling.
Verse 12: Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him. You will dash them to pieces like pottery."
To me, God is a great gentleman. He gives us a choice. He will never force us. In this Psalm, He has showed us both sides. One, where we can get nations as our inheritance and the ends of the earth our possession. The other side, be destroyed.
God is both a loving AND a just God. We have to understand both sides of His character and not just one side.
For me, these characters of God reminds me in my daily life, that I have to constantly make a choice. He will tell me something that He wants me to do, but I have to partner Him by obeying Him. That is why Obedience is better than sacrifice. It is a partnership with Him. And He has showed both sides of the outcome I will get. He has provided very clearly, the outcomes and answers. The ball is now in my court.
Will I take refuge in Him and be blessed and proclaim the Lord's decree, or will I go on my own ways?
P.S: One thing I am still asking the Holy Spirit --> In verse 11, it says "rejoice with trembling". How do we rejoice and yet tremble? What does this mean? I am still processing and asking Him. If any of you have any insights, do share ok?
Chris
Verse 2: The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the LORD and against his Anointed One.
From these 2 verses, it showed me that the very people that God had come to save are the ones that turned against Him. However, from verse 1, it has shown me that all the kings and the nations and its people have plotted in vain against Our Sovereign King. The two words "in vain" in verse 1 sums it all. The world we live in is the place where Satan operates. Satan does not operate in Heaven because he does not belong there. However, he works on this world. The kings of the earth gathered against the Lord and His Anointed One, who is Jesus Christ.
However, the Sovereignty and great power of our Lord is revealed to me from verse 4 and 5. He is a Just God. His character incorporates the element of Just and Wrath. God is love. That is truth. He is merciful and full of grace, yet we must also remember that He is a God of justice as well.
Verse 4: The One enthroned in heaven laughs, the Lord scoffs at them.
Verse 5: Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath saying . . .
Our God is a Just God.
Yet in His wrath against those who oppose Him, God's love and mercy is also showed in this Psalm.
Verse 7: He said to me, "You are my Son, today I have become your Father.
Verse 8: Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.
Verse 9: You will rule them with an iron scepter
From verse 7 to 9, it showed what He has install for us. What He wants to give us. He will make the nations our inheritance. That to me is a GREAT prize and it just shows the amount of love He has for me. All i need to do is ask Him. I will get the nations as my inheritance and the ends of the earth my possession. He simple said, "Ask of me". WOW. He is so full of grace and SO SO generous.
Verse 11: Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling.
Verse 12: Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him. You will dash them to pieces like pottery."
To me, God is a great gentleman. He gives us a choice. He will never force us. In this Psalm, He has showed us both sides. One, where we can get nations as our inheritance and the ends of the earth our possession. The other side, be destroyed.
God is both a loving AND a just God. We have to understand both sides of His character and not just one side.
For me, these characters of God reminds me in my daily life, that I have to constantly make a choice. He will tell me something that He wants me to do, but I have to partner Him by obeying Him. That is why Obedience is better than sacrifice. It is a partnership with Him. And He has showed both sides of the outcome I will get. He has provided very clearly, the outcomes and answers. The ball is now in my court.
Will I take refuge in Him and be blessed and proclaim the Lord's decree, or will I go on my own ways?
P.S: One thing I am still asking the Holy Spirit --> In verse 11, it says "rejoice with trembling". How do we rejoice and yet tremble? What does this mean? I am still processing and asking Him. If any of you have any insights, do share ok?
Chris
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Reflection on Psalm 1
Reflection on Psalm 1:
1. What does this psalm show me about God’s character?
I think verse 6 truly sums up God's character that is revealed in this Psalm. It says, " For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."
God delights in righteousness.
In verses 2-4 it also talks about His faithfulness that comes out of that righteousness. Verse 3, "He is like the tree planted by steams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
Whereas the wicked will be like chaff, that will be blown away.
He is faithful. He will bless the righteous but punish the wicked.
2. How does this aspect of God’s character affect me in my life?
I think, based on the above, knowing that God delights in righteousness, I need to choose to be on the path of righteousness. Knowing that through this, I will grow (yielding fruit & prosperity) & I will delight Him.
This links back to another verse in Psalm 37. Verse 4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Of course, this choice should not be one that is selfish and self centered. Where we are seeking for prosperity.
Rather, it should come from a heart where we we want to delight in the Lord because we love Him and long to please Him because He is worthy!
(i could go on and on about why he's worthy and thats where the attributes will all come out and it'll boil down to love and it'll go on and on and on!)
I believe and trust that you get what I mean :)
1. What does this psalm show me about God’s character?
I think verse 6 truly sums up God's character that is revealed in this Psalm. It says, " For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."
God delights in righteousness.
In verses 2-4 it also talks about His faithfulness that comes out of that righteousness. Verse 3, "He is like the tree planted by steams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."
Whereas the wicked will be like chaff, that will be blown away.
He is faithful. He will bless the righteous but punish the wicked.
2. How does this aspect of God’s character affect me in my life?
I think, based on the above, knowing that God delights in righteousness, I need to choose to be on the path of righteousness. Knowing that through this, I will grow (yielding fruit & prosperity) & I will delight Him.
This links back to another verse in Psalm 37. Verse 4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Of course, this choice should not be one that is selfish and self centered. Where we are seeking for prosperity.
Rather, it should come from a heart where we we want to delight in the Lord because we love Him and long to please Him because He is worthy!
(i could go on and on about why he's worthy and thats where the attributes will all come out and it'll boil down to love and it'll go on and on and on!)
I believe and trust that you get what I mean :)
Friday, 27 June 2008
Reflections on Psalm 1
In the mere 6 verses of this Psalm, verse 2 is the line which is most revealing about God's character - "But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night." It brought up a few questions - What is law? Why does God value someone who delights / abides by His laws? - and in finding answers to them, some light was shed on a few aspects of God's character.
Firstly, to understand what is law, we must start from justice. The best definition of justice I found which links with law is this - "Justice is love built into structures". Thus, law is the structure by which love prevails.
What does this then, coupled with the contents of the Psalm, tell us about God's character?
1) God is loving. For instance, look at the ten commandments as an example of His laws. If we put ourselves in the shoes of those who have been sinned against as such, we can see that they are designed out of love for both ourselves and others.
2) He is just, as revealed by the psalm's example, that He blesses the righteous and punishes the wicked.
3) Surprise surprise... God values order (and by that I mean, "a condition in which each thing is properly disposed with reference to other things and to its purpose; methodical or harmonious arrangement"). Why? Because He creates things with purpose. Since He created us out of love, He gave us His laws so that we may act according to His purpose, ie. to choose to love and to make the choice freely, not merely loving because He designed (or programmed, for a better contrast) us to love.
How do these aspects of God’s character affect me in my life?
On the one hand, knowing that God is loving and that we are created to love and be loved, has given me a lot more security and/or confidence since I first came to Christ. It's also helped a lot in the way I relate to other people, and is in a way much less of a struggle than before, however it's still not over.
Personally, after having reflected on this psalm, I find that it is harder to ignore the consequences of not choosing the (most?) loving option in anything I do, or regarding anyone I deal with. (If this seems off-tangent to the above conclusions on God's character and how all the law stuff ties in, let's just say that I'm thinking about the simplified version of God's laws - "Love the Lord your God etc" and "Love your neighbour as yourself".) It's so easy to choose not to love or be loving if it will cost me more than what I am willing to give. And I have been selfish, too many times to count, without giving any thought to the consequences. It is indeed a sobering thought when you know that God is will judge everything we have done. Like Bao Qing Tian.
In view of that blessing God grants to those who love Him and abide by His laws accordingly (as described in verse 3), perhaps every time I have to think about what would the most loving thing to do, I should seriously consider whether or not I would like to receive such blessing.
Firstly, to understand what is law, we must start from justice. The best definition of justice I found which links with law is this - "Justice is love built into structures". Thus, law is the structure by which love prevails.
What does this then, coupled with the contents of the Psalm, tell us about God's character?
1) God is loving. For instance, look at the ten commandments as an example of His laws. If we put ourselves in the shoes of those who have been sinned against as such, we can see that they are designed out of love for both ourselves and others.
2) He is just, as revealed by the psalm's example, that He blesses the righteous and punishes the wicked.
3) Surprise surprise... God values order (and by that I mean, "a condition in which each thing is properly disposed with reference to other things and to its purpose; methodical or harmonious arrangement"). Why? Because He creates things with purpose. Since He created us out of love, He gave us His laws so that we may act according to His purpose, ie. to choose to love and to make the choice freely, not merely loving because He designed (or programmed, for a better contrast) us to love.
How do these aspects of God’s character affect me in my life?
On the one hand, knowing that God is loving and that we are created to love and be loved, has given me a lot more security and/or confidence since I first came to Christ. It's also helped a lot in the way I relate to other people, and is in a way much less of a struggle than before, however it's still not over.
Personally, after having reflected on this psalm, I find that it is harder to ignore the consequences of not choosing the (most?) loving option in anything I do, or regarding anyone I deal with. (If this seems off-tangent to the above conclusions on God's character and how all the law stuff ties in, let's just say that I'm thinking about the simplified version of God's laws - "Love the Lord your God etc" and "Love your neighbour as yourself".) It's so easy to choose not to love or be loving if it will cost me more than what I am willing to give. And I have been selfish, too many times to count, without giving any thought to the consequences. It is indeed a sobering thought when you know that God is will judge everything we have done. Like Bao Qing Tian.
In view of that blessing God grants to those who love Him and abide by His laws accordingly (as described in verse 3), perhaps every time I have to think about what would the most loving thing to do, I should seriously consider whether or not I would like to receive such blessing.
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
A series of Blessed events
This is a post that i published on my own blog, and because i cannot keep silent about the good things God has done, i shall put it here too. It's SUPER long lah and unedited, but aiya, God is so good. The longer the better!
***
Hi folks! Hey, you know, i'm pretty much brimming with shorts stories here and there about how God has really just shown himself to me in such cool ways. I think that there's no better time to do it then now, otherwise i'd simply forget and all of it would fade into the deep depths of my memory. So, without further babbling, here is my truckload of testimonies!
1. The exam grades
Last semester was a busy one for me because i was juggling schoolwork, workplace work and project, church and mission trip stuff and my own running training. Remember that terrible paper i had last year, the module called Acculturation Psychology? I studied for it, but i studied all the "wrong" things! Whatever that came out in the exam were stuff i did not study for. I left the exam hall 30minutes earlier, and that is something i've never done in my entire schooling life.
So i pretty much felt that i messed up my whole paper, and i began preparing myself mentally to redo that module. The only complication with that would be: if that module is only available in the july semester, then i'd be wasting the first 6 months (Jan to June), and effectively, one whole year!
I went about my holidays trying not to think about the possibility of what might happen. I just told myself that whatever happens, God has a reason for it and that i trust him for whatever that may come. I had to ready my folks mentally too should i really have to repeat. But nothing could erase that feeling of dread that made my heart sink to my stomach just thinking about seeing a red mark on my transcript.
When i returned from my mission trip on the 23rd of december, i immediately checked for my exams results when i came home after dinner. And you know, God is good... I had gotten a B- for that terrible module. I had procured a B-! Like, WOOOOOWWWWWWW!
Knowing the state of my exam script, with the contents being either big blanks, general knowledge, and scanty bits of hazily recalled information, and having left early, it is only by a PURE MIRACLE that i passed, let alone obtain a B-.
***PRAISE GOD!***
2. Overcoming Sickness
2A. (prior and during the mission trip)
Apparently, a few weeks before leaving on my mission trip to East Timor, my bloating from IBS starting acting up again, and the day before my departure, i started experiencing sharp pains in my left ear. The pain just came out from the blue, and i don't remember having ever felt them before and i sure didn't have any prior injury to warrant the pain.
My folks suggested that these may be signs of anxiety, but since i didn't feel anxious, i had a feeling that these obstacles coming my way could be something more spiritual in nature (when we are bent on doing God's will and work, the enemy would want to get us down!). Knowing the possibility of that, I refused to be discouraged and i asked my parents to pray for me.
In addition, i kept having these persistent and disturbing thoughts that i was going to be sick on the trip, and that i will surely be bogged down by it. The thoughts kept bugging me and in some ways, the mental happenings manifested a bit into the physical and i began to feel a little headachey and nauseous. I had to keep rejecting those thoughts.
When my team and i arrived in Kupang, they celebrated my birthday! HAH, with a really cool doughnut with a candle on top. So cute lah, i wonder who brought the doughnut all the way from Singapore. So i told them about the health related struggles i was having and they prayed for me.
Suffice to say, i was NOT SICK throughout my trip. The only time when i got motion sickness was after a 12 hour long van ride, which i recovered from after a night's rest. And yes, NO BLOATING from IBS during my trip! AND, NO EAR PAIN either! HAH!
2B. (during my Worship Team Advance, aka, camp.)
A few days before going for camp, i went shopping at Jurong Point, and i think i caught some bug. My nose became really itchy, stuck AND runny, and i would sneeze ever so often. It was uncomfortable and i know i wasn't exactly sick. This uncomfortable respiratory problem prolonged for close to one week.
I slept through one night at camp with a clogged and itchy nose. But the next morning, something amazing happened.
During the worship session, Pastor Jenn told us about how God had given her an annointing on her hands. It had happened some time ago when a visitor speaker had visited our church (Kobush? i think.) and had prayed for her. And when the speaker had prayed for her, she felt a supernatural sensation in her hands and she has been able to recognise the same sensation which signified that God has his annointing on her to do His work. Meaning that He will work with and through her whenever she uses her hands to pray for and bless others (correct anot?).
So, she told us that after asking God if she could, she said that she wanted to symbolically pray for each of us so that we could receive this same annointing. She did, and prayed for pretty much everyone. When she came and prayed for me, i didn't feel anything significant, but i believed in whatever God can do anyway, whether or not i can see or feel.
After she prayed for me, i sat down thinking about my stuffy nose. I realized that: hey, it's NOT normal for me to have this stuffy nose. I'm NOT sick, and i know that for a fact because my condition wasn't getting worse, it was just stagnant, as if i had a perpetual allergy to something. Even in air conditioned rooms, i don't have this kind of problem. I missed my freed air passageways!
So, i thought to myself, since my hands have been prayed for, i shall use them!
I laid both my hands around my neck and prayed. I asked God: Ok, God, i pray that you will clear out my air ways, and that i'll be able to breathe freely again like i've always been able to. I don't normally have sinus issues, so Lord, i pray against this problem. (end)
I did not experience anything SUPER INSTANT or like thunder and lightning or anything moving through my body.... But you know what. In the next few minutes, i actually felt my air ways clearing. First it was one nostril that cleared up, and then the next one also cleared up. And suddenly, i could breathe freely again! As in, seriously! It was like, my nose moved from being totally blocked and dripping to completely clear.
Isn't GOD AWESOME?!
***YEAY! THANK GOD!***
3. Hearing His Voice of Love (happened during the Timor trip)
Although i've been a Christian pretty much all my life (second generation Christian), there're times when i struggle with knowing whether God loves me. You know, you hear the same line: Jesus Loves You, so many times but yet you don't FEEL it like the way you would when someone says it to you personally or hugs you or something.
But during one morning worship session in East Timor with my team, the Lord spoke to one of us about how much he loved us, and that team member shared it. In confirmation, another team member also felt God tell her that he loved her.
For myself, during worship i was singing really loudly but something inside said: stop singing so loudly, just be still. So i stopped and sat down and asked God, "God, what do you want to tell me or the team?"
And i thought i heard Him say so tenderly: I just love you.
Even as i am typing this, my eyes fill with tears remembering His insistent and gentle reminder.
After worship was over, the team shared their experience during worship, and i shared mine... And i tell you. I DON'T KNOW WHY AND HOW, but when i narrated to them what i had heard, i started to tear, and then all of a sudden, i started to BAWL. YES, BAWL. Like, the kind of crying which involves -wailing- and a lot of tears. I mean, like, hello, i COULD NOT CONTROL IT, it just came out so strong from the depths of my subconscious being and i had to HIDE my embarrassment by laughing with a "hee hee hee" in the midst of my crying. HAHAHAHA. I bet i scared my team mates a bit. I was really fighting to suppress whatever sound that was coming out through my lips.
I've NEVER cried like that in front of strangers (yes, i love my team, but they are not super close to me that i would cry in front of them, except for maybe one or two) as an adult.
I was quite shocked by what was happening. I'm no stranger to the notion of crying when God touches me or someone, but wailing? And in front of others? NO WAY! That kind of crying, i do only in privacy, and even then, it is very rare.
One of my team mates rallied the others to pray for me during that extraordinary moment and i felt so odd. HAHA. So yes... God really surprised me that morning, and it's an experience i won't be forgetting.
4. Repairing the broken areas (during the Timor trip)
Just a bit of background information:
As a child, i've always been jealous and starved of attention and affection. It's not that my parents never gave me any. I just wanted to be treated with devotion ALL the time. So you can imagine what kind of horror breaks loose when there was even a tiny mention of having another sibling. Finding that out was the most horrifying thing to me because to me at that time, if my mom had another kid, i would no longer be loved as much and i was not going to allow that to happen.
It did not help that in the presence of babies and young children, my mom would coo over and cuddle them and "forget" all about me. And because of what i saw and felt, it did not assure me that she would still love me if another sibling arrived.
Ever since, i had hated young children because of what they represented. I had the notion that they were irritating, troublesome and that i'd be far better off without children. And i always thought that young children did not take to me well like they would to my other peers.
Another one of my struggles is related to how i look. I'm part confident of myself, but a part is also always seeking man's approval and praise. So when i went to East Timor (now don't you laugh ok!) i craved the admiration and approval of the people.
Sounds stupid i know, but you know how as locals, we might find foreigners interesting? Yeah, same concept here. As a foreigner, i had also wanted some form of attention.
But on one of the days on a visit to a secondary school, i felt rather rejected and insignificant in comparison to my team mates, and though i was smiling, laughing and looking like i was enjoying myself, i felt a wound inside festering.
But let me tell you... GOD WORKS IN REALLY FUNNY WAYS. Listen to this:
Our Timor co-ordinator, Dick, who is also a member from my church who helped us with the arranging of transport and everything else, was hanging out with the neighbours' kids next door. I was hanging around outside our house (which is next door to Dick and the kids) when
Dick yelled over to me: JOLINE!!!
J: (turns to look over the fence to the house next door) Yeah?
D: You've got a FAN CLUB! (gestures to the children)
J: HUH?!
(then suddenly, ALL the children yelled, "HI JOLINE!!!!!!!")
D: (says something i could not hear)
J: Huh?!?
D: Never mind!
Later on, i popped over to the neighbour's house with my team leader and i found out from Dick that, the children became my "fans" because....... HAH, AIYO, this is so weird! Apparently, one of the kids was from the secondary school we had visited earlier and she saw me. So when i got to meet her at her home, she told me in Tetun (the language used there), "You, Bonita.". "Bonita" means "beautiful" in Tetun.
I was quite astounded by all this because never in my life have i been told by anyone so unabashedly and with so much admiration that i was beautiful. And the more i thought about it, the more i was beginning to see God's hand in it. You see, God did two things through this situation.
He had brought and used his innocent little children to touch and soften my heart (my first problem) and at the same time, he was assuring me that i was already beautiful (my second problem).
I then knew that i was hearing God, through his little children (that i found so hard to love for so many years), and that I was hearing and receiving his love for me.
I brought a camera over and took pictures with them, kind of like an unspoken way to tell them that i will remember this moment and that they were important enough for me to remember them. And the girl who spoke to me hugged me so tightly during the phototaking!
Isn't God cute? :-D
I certainly think so!
**************************************************
Ok, that was a REALLY long post lah. But i KNOW that for God's glory, i shall speak of His goodness in my life! And here it is!
I just realized that the testimonies cover areas of inner (emotional and mental) as well as physical healing. AHAHAHA! I so happy man.
Think the post is too long to edit now lah, so i won't bother to for now. I am just too excited to let it sit in my draft box! So, here it is! (will update if i can remember more that happened to me in the past months)
***
Hi folks! Hey, you know, i'm pretty much brimming with shorts stories here and there about how God has really just shown himself to me in such cool ways. I think that there's no better time to do it then now, otherwise i'd simply forget and all of it would fade into the deep depths of my memory. So, without further babbling, here is my truckload of testimonies!
1. The exam grades
Last semester was a busy one for me because i was juggling schoolwork, workplace work and project, church and mission trip stuff and my own running training. Remember that terrible paper i had last year, the module called Acculturation Psychology? I studied for it, but i studied all the "wrong" things! Whatever that came out in the exam were stuff i did not study for. I left the exam hall 30minutes earlier, and that is something i've never done in my entire schooling life.
So i pretty much felt that i messed up my whole paper, and i began preparing myself mentally to redo that module. The only complication with that would be: if that module is only available in the july semester, then i'd be wasting the first 6 months (Jan to June), and effectively, one whole year!
I went about my holidays trying not to think about the possibility of what might happen. I just told myself that whatever happens, God has a reason for it and that i trust him for whatever that may come. I had to ready my folks mentally too should i really have to repeat. But nothing could erase that feeling of dread that made my heart sink to my stomach just thinking about seeing a red mark on my transcript.
When i returned from my mission trip on the 23rd of december, i immediately checked for my exams results when i came home after dinner. And you know, God is good... I had gotten a B- for that terrible module. I had procured a B-! Like, WOOOOOWWWWWWW!
Knowing the state of my exam script, with the contents being either big blanks, general knowledge, and scanty bits of hazily recalled information, and having left early, it is only by a PURE MIRACLE that i passed, let alone obtain a B-.
***PRAISE GOD!***
2. Overcoming Sickness
2A. (prior and during the mission trip)
Apparently, a few weeks before leaving on my mission trip to East Timor, my bloating from IBS starting acting up again, and the day before my departure, i started experiencing sharp pains in my left ear. The pain just came out from the blue, and i don't remember having ever felt them before and i sure didn't have any prior injury to warrant the pain.
My folks suggested that these may be signs of anxiety, but since i didn't feel anxious, i had a feeling that these obstacles coming my way could be something more spiritual in nature (when we are bent on doing God's will and work, the enemy would want to get us down!). Knowing the possibility of that, I refused to be discouraged and i asked my parents to pray for me.
In addition, i kept having these persistent and disturbing thoughts that i was going to be sick on the trip, and that i will surely be bogged down by it. The thoughts kept bugging me and in some ways, the mental happenings manifested a bit into the physical and i began to feel a little headachey and nauseous. I had to keep rejecting those thoughts.
When my team and i arrived in Kupang, they celebrated my birthday! HAH, with a really cool doughnut with a candle on top. So cute lah, i wonder who brought the doughnut all the way from Singapore. So i told them about the health related struggles i was having and they prayed for me.
Suffice to say, i was NOT SICK throughout my trip. The only time when i got motion sickness was after a 12 hour long van ride, which i recovered from after a night's rest. And yes, NO BLOATING from IBS during my trip! AND, NO EAR PAIN either! HAH!
2B. (during my Worship Team Advance, aka, camp.)
A few days before going for camp, i went shopping at Jurong Point, and i think i caught some bug. My nose became really itchy, stuck AND runny, and i would sneeze ever so often. It was uncomfortable and i know i wasn't exactly sick. This uncomfortable respiratory problem prolonged for close to one week.
I slept through one night at camp with a clogged and itchy nose. But the next morning, something amazing happened.
During the worship session, Pastor Jenn told us about how God had given her an annointing on her hands. It had happened some time ago when a visitor speaker had visited our church (Kobush? i think.) and had prayed for her. And when the speaker had prayed for her, she felt a supernatural sensation in her hands and she has been able to recognise the same sensation which signified that God has his annointing on her to do His work. Meaning that He will work with and through her whenever she uses her hands to pray for and bless others (correct anot?).
So, she told us that after asking God if she could, she said that she wanted to symbolically pray for each of us so that we could receive this same annointing. She did, and prayed for pretty much everyone. When she came and prayed for me, i didn't feel anything significant, but i believed in whatever God can do anyway, whether or not i can see or feel.
After she prayed for me, i sat down thinking about my stuffy nose. I realized that: hey, it's NOT normal for me to have this stuffy nose. I'm NOT sick, and i know that for a fact because my condition wasn't getting worse, it was just stagnant, as if i had a perpetual allergy to something. Even in air conditioned rooms, i don't have this kind of problem. I missed my freed air passageways!
So, i thought to myself, since my hands have been prayed for, i shall use them!
I laid both my hands around my neck and prayed. I asked God: Ok, God, i pray that you will clear out my air ways, and that i'll be able to breathe freely again like i've always been able to. I don't normally have sinus issues, so Lord, i pray against this problem. (end)
I did not experience anything SUPER INSTANT or like thunder and lightning or anything moving through my body.... But you know what. In the next few minutes, i actually felt my air ways clearing. First it was one nostril that cleared up, and then the next one also cleared up. And suddenly, i could breathe freely again! As in, seriously! It was like, my nose moved from being totally blocked and dripping to completely clear.
Isn't GOD AWESOME?!
***YEAY! THANK GOD!***
3. Hearing His Voice of Love (happened during the Timor trip)
Although i've been a Christian pretty much all my life (second generation Christian), there're times when i struggle with knowing whether God loves me. You know, you hear the same line: Jesus Loves You, so many times but yet you don't FEEL it like the way you would when someone says it to you personally or hugs you or something.
But during one morning worship session in East Timor with my team, the Lord spoke to one of us about how much he loved us, and that team member shared it. In confirmation, another team member also felt God tell her that he loved her.
For myself, during worship i was singing really loudly but something inside said: stop singing so loudly, just be still. So i stopped and sat down and asked God, "God, what do you want to tell me or the team?"
And i thought i heard Him say so tenderly: I just love you.
Even as i am typing this, my eyes fill with tears remembering His insistent and gentle reminder.
After worship was over, the team shared their experience during worship, and i shared mine... And i tell you. I DON'T KNOW WHY AND HOW, but when i narrated to them what i had heard, i started to tear, and then all of a sudden, i started to BAWL. YES, BAWL. Like, the kind of crying which involves -wailing- and a lot of tears. I mean, like, hello, i COULD NOT CONTROL IT, it just came out so strong from the depths of my subconscious being and i had to HIDE my embarrassment by laughing with a "hee hee hee" in the midst of my crying. HAHAHAHA. I bet i scared my team mates a bit. I was really fighting to suppress whatever sound that was coming out through my lips.
I've NEVER cried like that in front of strangers (yes, i love my team, but they are not super close to me that i would cry in front of them, except for maybe one or two) as an adult.
I was quite shocked by what was happening. I'm no stranger to the notion of crying when God touches me or someone, but wailing? And in front of others? NO WAY! That kind of crying, i do only in privacy, and even then, it is very rare.
One of my team mates rallied the others to pray for me during that extraordinary moment and i felt so odd. HAHA. So yes... God really surprised me that morning, and it's an experience i won't be forgetting.
4. Repairing the broken areas (during the Timor trip)
Just a bit of background information:
As a child, i've always been jealous and starved of attention and affection. It's not that my parents never gave me any. I just wanted to be treated with devotion ALL the time. So you can imagine what kind of horror breaks loose when there was even a tiny mention of having another sibling. Finding that out was the most horrifying thing to me because to me at that time, if my mom had another kid, i would no longer be loved as much and i was not going to allow that to happen.
It did not help that in the presence of babies and young children, my mom would coo over and cuddle them and "forget" all about me. And because of what i saw and felt, it did not assure me that she would still love me if another sibling arrived.
Ever since, i had hated young children because of what they represented. I had the notion that they were irritating, troublesome and that i'd be far better off without children. And i always thought that young children did not take to me well like they would to my other peers.
Another one of my struggles is related to how i look. I'm part confident of myself, but a part is also always seeking man's approval and praise. So when i went to East Timor (now don't you laugh ok!) i craved the admiration and approval of the people.
Sounds stupid i know, but you know how as locals, we might find foreigners interesting? Yeah, same concept here. As a foreigner, i had also wanted some form of attention.
But on one of the days on a visit to a secondary school, i felt rather rejected and insignificant in comparison to my team mates, and though i was smiling, laughing and looking like i was enjoying myself, i felt a wound inside festering.
But let me tell you... GOD WORKS IN REALLY FUNNY WAYS. Listen to this:
Our Timor co-ordinator, Dick, who is also a member from my church who helped us with the arranging of transport and everything else, was hanging out with the neighbours' kids next door. I was hanging around outside our house (which is next door to Dick and the kids) when
Dick yelled over to me: JOLINE!!!
J: (turns to look over the fence to the house next door) Yeah?
D: You've got a FAN CLUB! (gestures to the children)
J: HUH?!
(then suddenly, ALL the children yelled, "HI JOLINE!!!!!!!")
D: (says something i could not hear)
J: Huh?!?
D: Never mind!
Later on, i popped over to the neighbour's house with my team leader and i found out from Dick that, the children became my "fans" because....... HAH, AIYO, this is so weird! Apparently, one of the kids was from the secondary school we had visited earlier and she saw me. So when i got to meet her at her home, she told me in Tetun (the language used there), "You, Bonita.". "Bonita" means "beautiful" in Tetun.
I was quite astounded by all this because never in my life have i been told by anyone so unabashedly and with so much admiration that i was beautiful. And the more i thought about it, the more i was beginning to see God's hand in it. You see, God did two things through this situation.
He had brought and used his innocent little children to touch and soften my heart (my first problem) and at the same time, he was assuring me that i was already beautiful (my second problem).
I then knew that i was hearing God, through his little children (that i found so hard to love for so many years), and that I was hearing and receiving his love for me.
I brought a camera over and took pictures with them, kind of like an unspoken way to tell them that i will remember this moment and that they were important enough for me to remember them. And the girl who spoke to me hugged me so tightly during the phototaking!
Isn't God cute? :-D
I certainly think so!
**************************************************
Ok, that was a REALLY long post lah. But i KNOW that for God's glory, i shall speak of His goodness in my life! And here it is!
I just realized that the testimonies cover areas of inner (emotional and mental) as well as physical healing. AHAHAHA! I so happy man.
Think the post is too long to edit now lah, so i won't bother to for now. I am just too excited to let it sit in my draft box! So, here it is! (will update if i can remember more that happened to me in the past months)
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Worship Ministry Advance 2008
Yes! We are back from Worship Advance 2008! I believe we had a life transformation experience. Let's post our experiences and honour God here if possible.
Updated my blog and here's it - http://historymakerforchrist.blogspot.com/
Choose 'Edit post' to add our experiences in this post. =)
Updated my blog and here's it - http://historymakerforchrist.blogspot.com/
Choose 'Edit post' to add our experiences in this post. =)
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
A Brand New Year
Welcome to 2008. The year of Supernatural and of course a year of refreshing. As we start this new year, I hope we are excited about it especially that the Music Advance is this coming weekend and we're coming as a ministry to get to know each other better, build trust and build stronger bonds.
Thinking back from 2005 till now, we've come a long way. Each transition reminds me of God's faithfulness in each of our lives. Relationships have strengthened and we've grown spiritually and physically over the past 3 years!
At Fuel Up Camp, Shan Yu and I have experienced God and met new friends and seen a change in the youth itself. It was an experience for us, facilitating worship and learning from each other. For those who were at Youth Service last Saturday, you've seen what God has done to our youths and transformed them through His Holy Spirit.
And from now till our Advance, let's open our hearts to God and allow Him to work within us. This year will be a year of revival for us. So, let's chill-lax with the Audience of One this weekend.
Happy New Year and blessed 2008.
Thinking back from 2005 till now, we've come a long way. Each transition reminds me of God's faithfulness in each of our lives. Relationships have strengthened and we've grown spiritually and physically over the past 3 years!
At Fuel Up Camp, Shan Yu and I have experienced God and met new friends and seen a change in the youth itself. It was an experience for us, facilitating worship and learning from each other. For those who were at Youth Service last Saturday, you've seen what God has done to our youths and transformed them through His Holy Spirit.
And from now till our Advance, let's open our hearts to God and allow Him to work within us. This year will be a year of revival for us. So, let's chill-lax with the Audience of One this weekend.
Happy New Year and blessed 2008.
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