Thoughts on leading worship... 5 years ago

Dear all,

I discovered this article I wrote in Oct 2002 on leading worship. It was interesting to see my thought processes then...

=============================================================

I had been pondering a long time about this thing called “leading worship”. What exactly does it mean? I remember years ago, when I first became a Christian, worship leaders were known as “songleaders”, which most would agree is a much easier call to live up to. However somewhere down the road there was a paradigm shift. Or was it a revelation? Someone decided to change “songleader” into “worship-leader”.

I’ve been reading books, talking to people, even asking God many many times, to show me what this “worship” was. Beginning with baby steps, I discovered, to the amazement of my immature heart, that worship was not the singing or the music. It wouldn’t be so difficult if it was just that! I listened to celebrated worship leaders like Darlene Zschech, Bob Fitts and Paul Baloche speak about their experiences as worship leaders, and they almost NEVER spoke about the music! They expounded on sacrifice, relationships with God and man, surrender, humilty, servanthood, unity, but never gave significant mention to the “gifts and talents” that I’d so coveted.

So how was I to lead worship when I didn’t really know what it was? True, now I had a vague idea that it was a lifestyle, something more than song and dance, ushering people into God’s presence etc, but that was all head knowledge. The reality of the matter hadn’t set in.

It is true that God pursues us – He pursued me. My Daddy God wanted to teach me something, and He taught me through my time in Bethesda Cathedral. All my pre-conceived ideas of wonderful music and even dreams of producing chart-topping albums were dashed in the short 2-half years I was there. My struggle to discover MY worship to Him had only just begun. God had only just begun to speak to me about what it means to truly worship Him. From the time I stepped up the platform with the controversial label of “first female worship leader in BC” to the time I realised I had been doing it all wrong, God was always faithful and patient in teaching me His ways. I tried to introduce “excellence” to the musicians, not realising that they could not even worship God with their hearts, much less worship with skillful hands. I tried to inspire the team with promises of God’s mighty move during church services, but overlooked that many of them did not even experience God in their own personal lives. I moved ahead of God, trying to be everything and yet achieving nothing. It was a humbling, yet vital learning period of my life.

I could relate stories of what other “famous” worship leaders have had to go through for their ministries, but didn’t have a personal account myself to speak. It disturbed me to think that I was up there on the platform, supposedly leading others into worship, when I didn’t truly understand what it was all about.

I’ve always been fascinated by the story of Mary and her alabastar jar. In the song “Alabastar”, there’s a line that says “you don’t know the cost of my alabastar box”. What WAS the cost of my alabastar oil? Was it the costliest, the most precious? The song says it “I will not offer anything to Him that costs me nothing”. Oh what conviction! It pierces my very being! How could I have been singing empty songs, making empty music, devoid of any true worship to God, while all the time claiming to be “leading worship”? It’s true – how can you lead others in worship when you can’t even worship God yourself?

I have also discovered that many examples of worship that touched God’s heart hardly featured any singing or music. Mary poured the costly oil on Jesus’ feet, washing them with her tears and wiping them with her hair. David “worshipped God’ when his son was killed. Mary worshipped Jesus by sitting at his feet listening to what He had to say while Martha busied herself with chores. None of them were singing pretty songs nor jamming in a band and yet theirs were examples of worship which God smiled upon.

An article by Paul Woodburn entitled “Worship or What?: Worship Defined” says this:

“Worship is indefinable and in reality it is the one thing that we do not need to be taught. Like a cherry tree produces apples and rose bush roses, humanity worships. It is what we are designed to do… programmed if you will. So really… worship is life… life is worship. The question is not "What is worship?" or "How does one worship?" If you are breathing… you're worshipping. The real question is "Who (or what) are you giving your worship to?"

That is so true! As long as I’m breathing, I should be worshipping God. That’s why it’s called a “life-style” – breathing keeps me alive, so since I have life, I should be worshipping like I’m breathing. And the issue is who I worship, not how or where or when.

Often times as I prepare to lead worship for church, sometimes I get this disturbing, nagging feeling that something is not right. I get down on my knees, I cry to God to show me what He has in store for the service but sometimes I don’t hear from Him. I start to wonder what’s wrong with me. Why am I not hearing God? Why is God not giving me the “right songs” for the service?

It is then, when I’m most distressed and upset, that the Holy Spirit gently reminds me, that it is about the object and not the method of my worship that pleases God. Yes God uses songs to minister to us, but at the end of the day, it’s all about our offering to Him. It’s all about our lives saying Thank You Father, Thank You Jesus, Thank You Holy Spirit. It’s about focusing on the Giver instead of the Gift. It’s about knowing Him and allowing Him to have His will done in your life. It’s about bringing a smile to the Father’s heart. It’s about offering up an irresistible incense of worship made up of lives which are transparent, grateful, yielded and completely at peace with their Creator.

In my journey so far, I’m gradually discovering truths through God’s Word which reveal God’s heart towards me, and that helps me understand the whole “worship” thing. For now, worship, to me, is life. On stage, I use the abilities which God has given me to help better express myself to Him, and I encourage and edify and exhort my brothers and sisters to look unto God who’s the Giver of all good things. Off-stage, I’m only me – in my personal moments with Him, what He sees (in my heart) is what He gets.

And I know that’s all He requires of me.

Psalm 127

A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labour in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.


King Solomon – reputably the wisest man on earth besides Jesus – wrote this psalm. I love it that he addresses the most basic needs of humans – to have family and work.

The first part of the psalm addresses work. I see the parallel with Ecclesiastes where he spent a considerable amount of time talking about how futile and meaningless work and toil can be when we do not have the right motivations. Working “in vain” is when we think we can do better than God. The key word in verse 1 “unless” is to be pondered. Unless the Lord does it, we labour in vain. All our works and efforts are temporary and futile. Unless we acknowledge His sovereignty over all things, what we do is “in vain”. Let’s be reminded not to make the mistake of leaving God out in our lives. We should make God our highest priority – and He will do the building.

I’d just like to add that God is not against hard work. Hard work honours God (Proverbs 31:10-29). The key thing here is knowing that our primary purpose is to worship Him, and if we think we can make Him love us more by working, we are wrong. Trust Him both in your work and your rest.

The second part of the psalm talks about the gift of children. None of us have our own children (yet) but we are all children. We are a “reward” from Him to our parents! (v.3) Sometimes we might feel like we’re a burden or liability to our parents. But remember that the Lord sees us as a heritage and reward from Him. We matter to Him.

To end off this short devotion, I’d like to add an additional point from verse 2. This is normally not something that’s highlighted when studying this psalm but I felt I need to bring this up because some of you will find freedom and rest in this.

Verse 2 says “he grants sleep to those he loves.” The New King James version translates this as “He gives His beloved sleep.” If you have been experiencing difficulty in sleeping or resting, meditate on this verse. Every time you lie in bed restless, pray this verse and speak it into your spirit. Some years ago I suffered from serious insomnia, often going 3 straight days without sleep. I was stressed out and anxious about things. Someone highlighted this verse to me and I have prayed it ever since. Nowadays I seldom have insomnia (mine’s the opposite… I love to sleep!!) but if I do ever feel restless, I will pray this verse and the Holy Spirit ALWAYS ministers and grants me sleep and rest. I use this verse as ammunition against the enemy who tries to steal my rest.

So, have a good night’s rest and remember that our labour is not in vain when it’s for the Lord.

Love you all incredibly much,
jenn

Psalm 126

Psalm 126 (NLT)
A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.
Author: Anonymous

1 When the Lord brought back his exiles to Jerusalem,
it was like a dream!
2 We were filled with laughter,
and we sang for joy.
And the other nations said,
“What amazing things the Lord has done for them.”
3 Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us!
What joy!

4 Restore our fortunes, Lord,
as streams renew the desert.
5 Those who plant in tears
will harvest with shouts of joy.
6 They weep as they go to plant their seed,
but they sing as they return with the harvest.

This psalm is believed to be referring to Ezra chapter 1 where those who were exiled from Judah (Israel) returned to their homeland – about 50,000 of them made the journey. Verses 1 to 3 express the exceeding joy of those who made it back. “It was like a dream!” they sang. Even the other nations exclaimed that the Lord has done amazing things for them. “Amazing things…!” Sense the excitement and joy!

Verses 4 to 6 go on as a prayer of faith and restoration. As an exiled people, they have lost much and wept much while being kept away from their homeland. But now that they are back, they are able to sing and recognise that even though it seemed like much tears and sorrow were experienced, at some point, the Lord is faithful and will restore what was taken from His people.

I see many relevant applications of this psalm in our lives.

Whether it’s on a personal or corporate level, when God begins to move in His amazing ways, it’s hard to keep it a secret. When you experience something wonderful from God, don’t you just have to tell someone? More often than not, people already can see God’s amazing work in your life and praise God for it!

For the past few months, God has showed up in amazing ways in youth service. How amazing! I have been really joyful and excited when I see what God is doing. I tell everyone about it!

It is especially key to note that the whole theme of this psalm focuses on restoration. We may have experienced some kind of loss in our lives – perhaps sin has drawn us far from God. But when we are restored by God in His mercy, don’t we feel so happy and alive?

The use of contrast is important to note as well:

Streams and the desert – deserts represent dry, lifeless places. To have streams flow in deserts is firstly a miracle, and secondly a sign that there is a source of life deeper than the surface. Do you have dry and lifeless areas in your life? Will you pray for streams in the desert? God is a God of miracles. He can provide life in areas where you seem to be dry and fruitless. Jesus is the Source of Life.

Tears and joy / Weeping and singing – From crying to joy. From heartbreak to hope. Personally, I relate this very much to my own life often. Many times, when I “plant”, sow and invest in people out of love for God, it can be accompanied by lots of tears and heartbreak because I don’t see the fruit for a long time. The sowing can be painful because it requires sacrifice, pain and setting aside my own agenda. However there is always a time of harvesting with joy. When I see the seeds that I have planted in people begin to bear fruit, it is all worth it. I have learnt that God is the one who causes growth. I’m only in charge of sowing and harvesting.

“God’s ability to restore life is beyond our understanding. Forests burn down and are able to grow back. Broken bones heal. Even grief is not a permanent condition. Our tears can be seeds that will grow into a harvest of joy because God is able to bring good out of tragedy. When burdened by sorrow, know that your times of grief will end and that you will again find joy. We must be patient as we wait. God’s great harvest of joy is coming!”
- Commentary on Psalm 126 (Life Application Bible)

No sound no picture...

It's been awfully quiet around here theses days... I hope it's because everyone's just flocking to the forum. Hey if you are wondering, har? got forum ah? Then go check it out at:
http://amphillah.30.forumer.com/index.php?act=idx

Had a really intense time with Jesus this afternoon. I love Him so much. =)

I miss all of you......! (and chicken rice)

OK... 4 days more...

Week 2 in Redding

Dear all,

I'm writing this while sitting in line for the "On Earth as it is in Heaven" conference which starts tonight till Friday. It's in the middle of our school term so the conference is part of our school - 2 in 1! This conference will have speakers like Tommy Tenney, Ray Hughes and Shawn Bolz, and an amazing worship leader and pastor called Lindell Cooley. We've had Lindell for the past 2 days in school leading us in worship and teaching us and words escape me... I can't describe the experience except that it's truly of the Holy Spirit and I'm drenched!

Sitting in line with laptops. The line goes round the sanctuary and the service starts in 2 hours time. How fun.

Yesterday, the moment Lindell sang the first line of his song, it was like electricity ran through my body and I just felt like my heart was going to burst with praise, love, excitement, delirium and I was just enjoying every moment of the Holy Spirit's presence. It was so easy to enter into His presence - it was pure magnetism. Wow... this same access is available for us every day if only we would pay attention to His abiding presence in our lives! It felt like heaven opened and POURED out rain like never before. We all swam in the river and no one wanted to come out and we didn't have to either! Woohoo.....!

Week 2 is just beginning and I must say I'm expecting more and more of Him each day. It's more than the amazing worship times or the inspiring teaching or the fun activities we get to do. All these things are wonderful and I'm enjoying every moment of this mountain-top experience. But the more important thing is God is affirming His works and creation on earth, and I'm a part of that. How awesome to be a child of God.

There is more to come, more to learn. What is God doing in and to my heart? A renewed call to intimacy and out of that, power and authority to speak things on His heart to being. I'm so enjoying this time of rest in Him. Not a passive, do-nothing kind of rest (although that's been nice too :)) but a rest and hope in Him that results in renewed strength as described in Isa 40.

Hey worshippers, don't ever compromise on your standards of obedience to God. Love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. We love because He first loved us.

luv,
jenn

Children Ministry Music Workshop

On Wednesday (13th) and Thursday (14th), some of the musicians from Adults, Youth and Children ministry collectively conducted the workshop and it's a success! Through the workshop, I've learned more than I teach. In fact, this started out in my dream and then Pastor Jenn asked some of us to help out.

1, 2, 3, 4! Rock the House!

We can show the adults - We can do it!

Wanna know what instrument is that?
*Will post up a video shortly*

One of the groups.

That's Seth for you.

Gerald

Auntie Serena sharing about worship

The Future Warriors!

It's really a joy to serve the kids. In fact, Gerald and I were supporting Auntie Serena in vocals and Gerald said it was his first time in a way. LOL! For me, it was really a challenge too. As we shared all that we could, we really feel blessed by the kids, each and everyone of them. What really draws me to them would be their childlikeness.

Don't worry! I'm ready!

Wait! Wait! I'm preparing!

Preparing for Practice!

Rebecca

Joy

Jonathan

Timothy

Kenny with the guitarists

Uncle Steven with the guitarists

The most surprising thing is the love gift I received. I believe each of us received it too. It's really amazing. Shall not spoil any markets here. Anyway, all the glory goes to Jesus. He made it happen and best of all, we have them worshiping and leading us into worship.

Get Ready!

I'm all ready! Don't worry, I'm not stoning!

Uncle Steven said..... worship like a blind man!
*Feeling!*

The Ensemble Song: Lord I Lift Your Name On High

Girl Power!

Johan leading the team.

Good Job, Children of God!

Auntie Belinda in action!

It will come to pass! =) Thanks Pastor Jenn for giving us this opportunity to learn and to facilitate. We sure had fun! =)

Be Blessed!

Psalms 124-125

Psalm 124
A song of ascents. Of David.

1 If the LORD had not been on our side—
let Israel say-
2 if the LORD had not been on our side
when men attacked us,

3 when their anger flared against us,
they would have swallowed us alive;

4 the flood would have engulfed us,
the torrent would have swept over us,

5 the raging waters
would have swept us away.

6 Praise be to the LORD,
who has not let us be torn by their teeth.

7 We have escaped like a bird
out of the fowler's snare;
the snare has been broken,
and we have escaped.

8 Our help is in the name of the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 125
A song of ascents.

1 Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.

2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.

3 The scepter of the wicked will not remain
over the land allotted to the righteous,
for then the righteous might use
their hands to do evil.

4 Do good, O LORD, to those who are good,
to those who are upright in heart.

5 But those who turn to crooked ways
the LORD will banish with the evildoers.
Peace be upon Israel.


Dearest dearest people,

I can't believe how much I'm missing church. Haaa.... and I've only been away a few days. OK they say absence makes the heart grow fonder so I can only say that's true for me now! :)

It's been more than a month since I last posted my meditation on the "Songs of Ascent" so I'm going to do a double-whammy here. It comes timely as well since I'm in Redding and surrounded by mountains so it gives more meaning to ascending onto the mountain of the Lord.

This morning, I was at the prayer house and it was such a beautiful time of being in God's presence. There is a special anointing upon this prayer house called "Alabastar House" here at Bethel Church. I walked in the place and within 10 seconds I'm in tears from sensing the nearness and embrace of Father. How beautiful.

The Prayer House from the outside

View from the Prayer House. Can you see the mountains?
The little pool is called the Pool of Bethesda.

And so I looked at Psalms 124 and 125 and let's look at Psalm 125 as a continuation of 124. Psalm 124 is a fine picture of how God delivers us from every evil and persecution. Are we able to give testimony of God's presence in our lives when we encounter times of attack from the enemy or when our own weaknesses and giants confront us? More importantly, let's remember that we have ultimately been rescued from paying the price of sin that is death. In verses 6-7, the psalmist talks about us being "torn by their teeth" and us escaping from the the fowler's snare. Those illustrations point to the hold of satan over those who do not choose to turn from sin ("torn by teeth", "fowler's snare) but in Christ, we have "escaped" because the "snare has been broken"!

Next, look at Psalm 125. Can you just sense the confidence and boldness the psalmist has as he writes about the Lord's trustworthiness? The psalmist says that those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion - a holy mountain supported by providence and promise and cannot be removed from confidence in God. I'm here in Redding and it's surrounded by beautiful mountains. So is Jerusalem. The surrounding of mountains signify a circle of unmovable protection. Those that trust in the Lord are safe from their enemies. Nothing can move them. It's like having a impenetrable shield of defense. We need not be afraid of the fiery darts that may fly at us.

Be steadfast in God. Use and trust His shield around us. There is nothing that can upset the trustworthiness of God because He is faithful and unchanging. Look up the mountain and see your help in time of need. God is your source of help and strength.

love you all,
jenn

"I will not be afraid, for You have given me a new way to be brave."

Up and Away to Redding

Dearest beloved team,

I'm just hours away from getting on the plane to leave for Redding, California (USA) to attend School of Supernatural Worship in Bethel Church. Those of you curious to find out exactly what this school is may click here.

I'd like to share my reflections and expectations about this trip, which I believe comes timely. When I tell people about me going for this summer school programme that focuses on "supernatural worship", the 2 most common responses I received were:

1) "I thought you're in youth ministry now, why are you attending a worship conference?"
2) "Haa..... supernatural worship.....? What's that?"

These simple responses triggered my thoughts and beliefs about ministry, church and worship of God. However it was also a reminder for me to focus on what's important. Above all things, I want to worship God, and to lead others to do the same.

Some years ago when I had spent a period of time leading worship in church, I started to think really hard about what it means to be a worship leader. There was something in me that refused to accept that worship leading is only about being good in music, singing and choosing the right songs for the right time. It wasn't even about having the Holy Spirit move whenever I lead, even though I absolutely love it when He does! After some time of soul-searching and Word-searching, this verse helped to consolidate my thoughts:

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

With this verse, "worship as a lifestyle" made sense. If I were to offer my body as a living sacrifice that is holy and pleasing to God, that is my act of worship. Therefore when I "lead worship", it is in this order:

1) I worship God in every part of my life
2) I worship God when leading people to do the same
3) I worship God with my musical and leadership abilities
4) I worship God when standing on the platform and using song and music to lead people to worship Him

What this means is I am more than a worship leader confined by music and platforms, but I am a worship leader IN LIFE, with the sole purpose of leading people to worship God. So when I attend School of Supernatural Worship, I am first a worshipper and when I am worshipper that pleases God, I can then be able to "test and approve what God's will is" for myself and every part of my life, including my role as a youth pastor. I'm excited and looking forward to a time of refreshing and revelation as I worship God during School of Supernatural Worship.

As for the 2nd response - it's almost a no-brainer because worship IS supernatural and we must know that. Is there such a thing as "natural worship"? I don't believe so, because worship is about WHO you worship. Our God is supernatural, so our worship must be supernatural too!

The next 3 weeks are going to be a great time of refreshing, revelation and building relationships for me. Please keep me and John, Ps Edwin, Chris and Paul Seow in prayer as well. I will miss you all and do have fun worshipping God as a team!

luv,
jenn

Music Advance 2007 - Mid Year

It's time again for our Music Advance this year! The theme was Servanthood. I believe that we've so much to share. Let's discuss it in forum. Feedback, etc.

For now, I'll upload the pics here. In any case, this advance was really bringing back and challenging us the essence of Servanthood. The visitation of the Children's home, even down to the simplest thing like serving others within our ministry and out of the ministry.

Pretty much enjoyed this advance with a sense of purpose and renewal of the mind and refreshing of the heart.

Be Blessed!